Ache
by Ozymandius
Summary: Miroku's thoughts after witnessing another of Inuyasha and Kagome's endless arguments.


Short story popped into my head while watching the first Inuyasha movie. enjoy.

PS I own nothing.

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><p><em><strong>Ache<strong>_

They're fighting again. Over what doesn't really matter, I already know how it will end. Inuyasha will say something stupid, like he always does, and Kagome will get angry, yell at him to "sit", and then go home for a few days to cool off. It's always the same, and everytime I have to sit here and wait while they work out their lover's quarrel. It's pathetic. I often wonder why I continue to accompany this group. It has its perks certainly, Kagome and and especially Sango, but at the same time this constant bickering is a waste of time. And I have so little to waste.

"SIT!"

There it is, the end of the argument, the only way it could end. You'd think sooner or later Inuyasha would learn that he's not going to win the arguments, but he's nothing if not persistent. I put my fake smile in place, hand Kagome her bag and wish a safe journey, like always, even though my eyes are pleading with her to stay. Stay so that we do not lose anymore time in this quest. Stay so that I might have a chance for survival. But of course she doesn't see it, and with a wave disappears on Kirara, heading back to her family. I do not begrudge her her family, and do not resent her for her frequent trips to see them, but while the others seem to think we have all the time in the world, I have an ever present reminder that every second is precious slowly eating away at my hand.

I feel the dull ache again and subconsciously cradle my hand against my chest. I feel so hopeless, and not for the first time. Whenever we are not searching, for the jewel, or Naraku, or doing something, anything, the ache becomes more real. With nothing to distract me I feel it pulsing, wondering if each pulse could be my last. I am no coward but I don't want to die, not like my father did, sucked into the endless void. I have friends, and the woman I love, I want to live long enough to see my grandchildren, should I be so blessed. Instead I live everyday with a sword over my head, never knowing when it might fall, and worse, never knowing who else it may strike. The others don't seem to realize this. They all know about the curse in my hand, that any day, any moment could be my last and yet they don't seem to have any sense of urgency about them. It's maddening. I think again that maybe I should leave, look for Naraku myself, and end this or die trying. Anything is better than sitting here waiting for Inuyasha and Kagome to resolve this fight, just so they can have another one a few days or weeks down the road and the whole thing will repeat again.

I also should leave in case he worst happens. I would never find peace if the curse should take one of them when it takes me. I growl at my defeatist attitude_. When_ it takes me? I should say if, when has a ring of inevitability to it. But then maybe it is inevitable, especially if the ones I've pinned my hopes on can't avoid quarreling long enough to accomplish anything.

Inuyasha is shaking off the subjugation spell and I try to make him see reason, convince him to apologize so that Kagome will return and we can continue our journey. As usual he stubbornly refuses and leaps away, it will be two days at least before he feels guilty and goes to get her. Two wasted days. My hand pulses again with the thought. I sigh and decide to go annoy Sango, that at least, should keep me occupied while I wait. As I look at the magnificent vision before me as Sango bends to hand Shippo his breakfast, I think that perhaps the wait won't be so bad and I reach out my hand to touch the work of art before me.

When I regain consciousness it is almost nightfall and I sigh with contentment. I may be living on borrowed time, but I'm determined not waste any more of it than I have to. I get up and go looking for Sango. I have to pass at least one more day before Inuyasha retrieves Kagome, and I can't think of any faster, or more enjoyable way to make time fly.


End file.
